Saturday, 10 September 2011

Only You Can Prove Them Wrong

I have had it. There, I said it. This weeks post is as close to an all out rant as I ever really want to come but sometimes things just need to be said. I am sick and tired of the way that we as a society have allowed boys grow into just bigger boys, instead of teaching them to be men.

It used to be that being a man meant something. These days being a man can mean anything from playing xbox in your parents basement at the age of thirty, to acting like a raving lunatic at some sports bar during the big game! Words like honour and integrity mean little in this day and age. Man-ly responsibility seems to have gone out the window too.

There was a time when boys looked up to men. When to be called man caused you to feel a sense of pride and a responsibility to live up to that title. Now it seems that any act of idiocy and stupidity is enough to get you called "da man"

There was a time when if a man gave you his word you could take it to the bank. When a man knew the meaning of sacrifice meant to make something holy instead of giving up something that was selfish anyway. There was a time when a man was disciplined.

I do not claim to know why things have deteriorated the way they have, although I do have my suspicions. But when I look at some of the things going in the world today I can not help but think to myself that the world needs more real men.

What makes a Real Man? I have had the honour of meeting real men in my life and this is what they taught me,

A Real man:

Knows the line between chivalry and chauvinism
Does not play xbox until 3 in the morning in his parents basement at 35 years old.
Does not watch pornography
Understands beauty
Will defend his wife against her mother in law
Holds true to the words in sickness and in health, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, Till death do us part
Holds himself to a standard higher than others expect of him
Is not ashamed to hold his daughters little mermaid pink umbrella for her
Is not embarrassed to hold his wife's purse
Opens the door for others
Reads to his children at night
Sings lullabies to his children, no matter how off key
Lives by a code that is higher than himself
Will never walk away from a fight with his wife...even if no one would blame him for walking away
Fights for his marriage, not for his pride
Gets emotional from time to time
Would not rather spend friday night with anyone else than his wife
Holds the words: Honour Integrity Discipline Dedication in high esteem
Understands his responsibility
Strives to become something greater than the sum of his experiences
Knows the true meaning of love
Sees a woman as a child of God first, as a person second and places himself third in that relationship
Has eyes only for his wife
Lives for others before himself
Provides for his family.
Does not spend his money on frivolous things for himself before making sure his family is provided for
Does not swear in the presence of women and children.
Does not need to swear.
Controls his temper
Stands in the presence of a lady.
Will pull her chair out for her.
Is the first to offer his seat to a lady, or anyone older than him.
Makes sure that everyone has been served
Faces his personal demons
Is not ashamed to ask for help in fighting them.
Does not drink uncontrollably
Walks on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road
Will offer his arm to help the elderly climb down the stairs
Knows that the girl in those ads is somebody's daughter
Doesn't let his daughter dress like that
Teaches his daughters to respect themselves
Teaches his sons to respect their mother
Plans for his children's future
Cares about the quality of his work
Will fight for the lives of his children. Even the ones who aren't born yet.
Will stand by his wife every second as she battles the sickness that will eventually take her life......

This is not in any way an exhaustive list, and I can not claim to have met every one of these points perfectly. However I can say that I try to honour those real men by emulating their example.

True story: A teacher once walked into an all boys classroom. When he addressed them he called them "gentlemen" and they all laughed at him. To which he replied, "you may all think I am foolish to be calling you gentlemen, however only you can prove me wrong"

This is a battle cry to all the real men out there. The world is no longer surprised when males are lazy, irresponsible, disrespectful and unfaithful.

Only you can prove them wrong.